Probably not a good title to seek upvotes. If it does get upvotes, more programmers get share in your pain 😅

  • Croquette@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    I work as an embedded developer and when a new board is produced and half tested, every one expects fully functional code off the bat, right away.

    Motherfucker, you didn’t even qualify your hardware and you expect my code, that hasn’t hit the new board, to be 100% functional, based on your mind map? We will find hardware issues that will inevitably be blamed on the code and spend hours “debugging” the code to eventually find out the hardware is shit.

  • sleep_deprived@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    I have this great idea for an app, we can go 70/30 on it! 70 for me because the idea is the hardest part after all. So basically it’s Twitter plus Facebook plus Tinder with a built in MMO. You can get that done in a couple weeks, should be pretty easy right?

  • PlexSheep@infosec.pub
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    1 day ago

    Compile your kernel with a different version of ld then shipped with your distro. I have this right now in Debian testing and it’s enraging. I’m not even sure if that’s the source of my error

  • Simulation6@sopuli.xyz
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    1 day ago

    Micromanagement to speed up product release date. Daily meeting and status reports, work breakout categories such as ‘code design’, ‘code development’, ‘code documentation’, etc,etc (flash back gif of Apache helicopters flying over a jungle

  • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Figure out if they prefer spaces or tabs, insist on the other.

    Please note this won’t work on Pythonistas as they’ve already had their spirit thoroughly broken.

    • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
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      2 days ago

      Fuck C and it’s lazy shit pointer arithmetic array indexing shortcut. I.e. you just add the index × size(t) to the array pointer.

      Bounds checking? We’ve heard of it.

          • BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works
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            1 day ago

            And sun glasses, don’t forget the aviators.

            While Mr “I can’t code without a garbage collector” is still putting on his backplate of “oh no pointers are bad” and a duck typed full face helmet, to ride his interpreted moped, the big boys, Mr C-ool and Mr ASSembly, are already downing grain alcohol at the finish line.

            But then again I really don’t like to step out of my embedded RTOS bubble. It really depends on what you want to accomplish and how complicated your system is.

            • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
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              1 day ago

              embedded RTOS

              That sounds like a domain where memory safety is secondary to size and speed… though compile time memory safety guarantees could help.

              Good thing we have so many options!

          • letsgo@lemm.ee
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            1 day ago

            I’ve ridden a motorbike in a T-shirt and kilt before. That’s … fun …

      • Troy@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        MATLAB is basically a UI wrapper around Fortran’s BLAS and LAPACK – change my mind. ;)

    • ramble81@lemm.ee
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      1 day ago

      That’s right there with calling JS, PowerShell and Bash “programming languages”. I said what I said.

      Edit: I’m a developer myself and it looks like I triggered everyone just as the post said. Thanks for playing!

      • bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        16 hours ago

        I think what people generally mean when they say programming language (other than just a language to write a program) is that the language is turing complete. Even with this more limited definition, JavaScript, Bash, and Powershell are turing complete and therefore programming languages.

      • sleep_deprived@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        Tell me you don’t know what a programming language is without telling me you don’t know what a programming language is

  • Lvxferre [he/him]@mander.xyz
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    1 day ago

    Correctly highlight when a programmer is being assumptive as a brick, even when assumptions are one of the biggest sins in programming. Done, you’ve triggered a lot of programmers.

  • itsathursday@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    You guys are too slow, we need to hire more of you and let the sales teams use AI to add features the client asks without waiting for you.

    AI can code now, in 2 mins I can create an app, so it shouldn’t take you long to make changes to this 10year old product.