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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • Snapz@lemmy.worldtoTechnology@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    4 months ago

    Are you a white house staffer carrying a heavy stack of top secret documents? Do you desperately need both hands to vape or to text roger stone a progress report? Try DOCDASH!

    Just request a docdasher in app and a helpful person like Yvegeny, Dmitri or Boris will show up to the white house on a motorcycle, take your documents from you, not copy and transmit them, and just keep them very safe, like tippy top safe.






  • Corporations and politicians: “oh great news everyone… It worked. Time to kick off phase 2…”

    • Replace all the water trump wasted in California with brawndo
    • Sell mortgages for eggs, but call them patriot pods
    • Welcome to Costco, I love you
    • All medicine replaced with raw milk enemas
    • Handjobs at Starbucks
    • Ow my balls, Tuesdays this fall on CBS
    • Chocolate rations have gone up from 10 to 6
    • All government vehicles are cybertrucks
    • trump nft cartoons on all USD, incest legal, Ivanka new first lady.
    • Public executions on pay per view, lowered into deep fried turkey fryer on white house lawn, your meat is then mixed in with the other mechanically separated protein on the Tyson foods processing line (run exclusively by 3rd graders) and packaged without distinction on label.
    • FDA doesn’t inspect food or drugs. Everything approved and officially change acronym to F(uck You) D(umb) A(ss)

  • Next up is Tim apple announcing his conversion therapy was successful and that he will now be marrying a blonde fox news anchor on the white house lawn. He’ll then run for Lindsey Graham’s senate seat and carry on the tradition of being the most closeted man in the Senate… And the world.

    When Lindsey Graham was asked who his first lady would be should he ever win the presidency, he replied… “My sister”.

    Just can’t take those swinging bachelors off the market… one at a time ladies.








  • Oh boy… Look up peter thiel, elon musk and david sacks to start - three stains on humanity working very actively to end it as we speak. They were the basin founding faces of PayPal (I mean, I think musk came on after the fact or was pushed out early or something, continuing the trend of him never actually creating anything). Currently they are alll very active in the trump admin - two with officially appointed positions, one in the shadows. Vance is also created by thiel. Look up that “Dark Gothic maga” video (musk’s stupid name) that’s been shared often recently.

    Then separately, PayPal owns Honey, and it turns out has been scamming millions, maybe billions away from online creators for years, probably some of your favorites included in that list. Active lawsuit ongoing - look up legal eagle’s video maybe as a start.

    All these billionaire fucks made their fortunes through Paypal and still likely hold stock and maybe board positions, can’t recall?


  • The nazis weren’t as competent and intelligent as you suggest, that work was outsourced to IBM - Yes, that IBM.

    You know that Watson product that IBM sells and advertises so often? R one that plays chess and was on jeopardy (Fun!) Turns out that Watson was the name of the dude that signed off on them accelerating the Holocaust for the nazis. Some believe the nazis couldn’t have been nearly as efficient at unrepentant large scale murder without IBM joining the fray, yet they skate on by…