I really wish to work in a team where people have naming conventions for branches that are concerned about stuff like that. Must’ve been a nice place to work at.

git checkout ma

mai_new_chenges 
march_deploy_second_final_final_fixed      
main_fixes       
mast_not_farget_to_delete_it

You mean “I just sent you zip file with my new changes via email, get fucked looser”?

zsh: command not found: rekt

I highly recommend zsh. It takes a moment to setup initially, but you can use oh-my-zsh to just skip that part and use one of the many, many presets, and it supports plugins, of which there are many. It gives you tab support for so many popular commands, you will never need to remember them, and it has a lot of small improvements that makes your terminal life a breath. For example, if you do cd tab in bash, it will give you a list of subdirrectories. If you do the same in zsh, it will give you that list and a cursor that you can use to navigate said list, so instead of typing the dir, you can do cd tab tab tab enter

I really don’t like how “consumer-friendly” means “GUI that resembles Windows” in the minds of so many people.

Installs Ubuntu.
It is Ubuntu.
Gets angry.