I really thought this was the onion.

? There seems to be some question on here.

Dead means dead if you don’t do anything about it

This is like saying your car battery isn’t dead because I’m able to jump start it.

Jesus would like a word with you.

Once upon a time, many moons ago as a resident, I was called at 2 AM by the organ donation team to call the time of death of a beautiful 21-year-old girl who had gone into a diabetic coma and never woke up. There was 20 people in the room weeping, Amazing Grace was playing; I was sweating bullets. So I stood there until her pulse stopped and called it, even though she still had PEA on the monitor. I was so nervous, I followed her into the OR to make sure she didn’t wake up when they cut her.

When your heart stops, you are considered dead no matter how viable your brain tissue is.

Source: I have pronounced many persons dead.

Sometimes they only need a couple compressions

But they are literally dead

The first of many

Fuck Microsoft

If only Siri could understand what I say

Killed in a car accident. Fuck cars.

The Book of Enoch says that fallen angels named Uzza, Azza and Azael taught humans originally.

“Impartial” like when Bernie Sanders was winning, and every Democrat decided to fold for Biden.

For copywrite, it doesn’t matter if it was taken directly from the source.

Who could have ever anticipated Git hub going to shoot after Microsoft bought it

Obviously only if you jump off a bird

Bender Bending Rodriguez for President!

I play several of those games